jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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