Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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