Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
