If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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