i think my tv is drunk
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
