I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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