dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
