started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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