so that wasnt chicken after all
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
