What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
why do cheetos always look like penises
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Randomize
