I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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