Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
