I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
