Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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