Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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