we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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