You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
