one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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