Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
How does it feel to date your dad?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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