forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
