I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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