the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
