I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
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