The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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