i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
