marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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