Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
