This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
