i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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