Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize