he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
