Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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