No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
my shit smells like andre
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
