Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
