I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
