I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
