I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
