You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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