you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
