If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
