i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
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