Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Less talking, more tequila
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
