Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
