well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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