They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
