I must be too annoying 4 u.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
