i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
