Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.

Fav 38 898 1965
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(419): View more from Ohio

having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work

Fav 5 744 4323
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(217): View more from Illinois

I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.

Fav 31 1471 4031
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(504): View more from Louisiana

his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...

Fav 47 2570 8191
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(408): View more from California

Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.

Fav 10 3915 1452
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(630): View more from Illinois

This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.

Fav 10 1457 2863
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake

Fav 13 3773 1603
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(812): View more from Indiana

I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.

Fav 5 1400 656
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(315): View more from New York

Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.

Fav 2 21 63
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