Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Text me some of your sweat
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