Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
