What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
