On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize