Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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