Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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