Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
