i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
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