you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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