i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
tell me about the fingering
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