I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
