We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof