Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?