it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw