they need to just BURY HIM!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
