i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
