New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
