sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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